Contemplating “Controlled Chaos” — in football and in life
The term's perfectly apt for the Iowa State sports beat and my wonderfully unruly garden, which is full of surprises and defined by change
AMES and ANKENY, Iowa — He spoke of freedom and of peril. Of free-wheeling, frantic forays down the football field and rollicking celebrations in the locker room. Former Iowa State walk-on Ben Nikkel was having his day — and watching him smile as he described playing on special teams and being surprised with a scholarship prompted me to draw up the term “controlled chaos.”
It fit perfectly in so many ways.
Nikkel, a former NAIA star receiver at the college situated in his hometown of McPherson, Kan., was told by Cyclone head coach Matt Campbell after practice on Monday that he’d graduated from walk-on status. He beamed when he relived the moment and described it to me and other reporters. It served as a ray of sunshine during an otherwise storm-shrouded week as four more Iowa State players were charged in the Iowa Division of Criminal Investigation’s probe into sports gambling. One player even bet against the Cyclones — in a game they won (and he played in), 30-7, over Texas. The investigation is ongoing, the DCI said in a news release, so those storm clouds over Cyclone country continue to loom over fall camp as ISU prepares for its Sept. 2 season opener against Northern Iowa.
Poor judgement led to the troubling conditions in Ames — as well as in Iowa City. It’s a controlled slow burn tinged with regret; where high risk and high reward collided with major consequences and wide-ranging punishments.
But back to “controlled chaos” (and far, far away from my sports beat).
That term is an apt description of my garden landscape. I have ground rules nature stubbornly insists to break every year, every season. My raised beds are well-defined, but invaders refuse to abide by them. So dill self sows every season, along with borage, among my strawberries. I pull a few plants. I let others stand. I enjoy the chaos, the lack of control. There’s a beauty in knowing that no matter how much I plan, I am not in charge there. Never was. Never will be. I guide the growth, but sometimes it meanders into interesting and unexpected places.
To wit: There’s a sprawling pumpkin plan that sprouted from my compost pile. I let it be. I wanted to see where it would go, so I chart its growth daily as it encircles a big weigela bush, and nestles next to a pee gee hydrangea. I’m not sure if it sprang from an Australian butter squash seed, or a plain old pumpkin I tossed into the pile after it sat on our doorstep as one must each fall. That’s life, though. We can set it in motion, but controlling it? Good luck.
So “controlled chaos” is a state of being I enjoy. There’s mystery involved. Good breaks and bad. Every action I take in the garden is a roll of the dice. Sometimes it hits. Other time, snake eyes.
My “mistakes,” however, lead to circumstances I can shape, if not completely control. Right now, there’s a stand of partridge peas populating my large garden island. They peacefully coexist with the fading coneflowers, black-eyed susans, butterfly milkweed and emerging asters. Nature put the partridge peas there. I let them remain because I invited them in. Turns out they thrive in “disturbed areas” and I did the disturbing by tearing up the turf and planting wildflowers. “Controlled chaos” never looked so good to my eye. I smile and sigh, waiting for the next surprise.
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